Rebecca Walker response to Gloria Steinem

Just posting a link to Rebecca Walker, who is also "on the fence" about Clinton/Obama but has an interesting response to the Gloria Steinem op-ed I linked to before.

Obama or Clinton? Steinem's view.

I have to say, I was happy to see that Hillary Clinton took the New Hampshire primary. But at the same time I am a wee bit relieved that I havent had to choose yet - I am not sure which Democrat I want to see in the big race. Although Senator Edwards consistently harangues that he is the most progressive Democrat seeking presidency (besides poor Kucinich who seems to not really count in anyone's real estimation), the extent of his populist protective trade policies are suspect to me. But perhaps international political economy could be the subject of another post. The point here is that I am not sure if I would vote in a primary for Clinton or for Obama, but my reaction to Clinton's recent win makes things a bit more clear: I think Clinton it is. I also enjoyed Gloria Steinem's op-ed piece in the NYT today . (As she points out, "to clean up the mess left by President Bush, we may need two terms of President Clinton and two of President Obama" anyhow) Taking her cue, perhaps I should finally say that I support Senator Clinton because she would make a great president, and because she's a woman. Like many, I am just not sure about the big, most important race. Would Senator Obama be more likely to win over the entire (or enough of) the country? At least I feel reassured that the republicans look so lost right now that our chances, under any scenario seem good. But things change mighty fast.
Read that Steinem op-ed.

pushing out diamonds

somewhere in the random reading ive started doing about being pregnant and etc etc i had heard that it is somewhat customary for dads out there to give moms a present for delivering a baby (typically sparkly and expensive). i mentioned it to tim (babydaddy) who was a bit incredulous. eyebrow raised. are you kidding me? but he knows that whatever the circumstance i dont want diamonds anyhow. in fact id be pissed if he spent a gaggle of money on something so unappealing and dumb (in my opinion). doesnt help that we are scrimping and saving for things such as a crib and clearly not in the income bracket of those interviewed for the times article that bought hot tubs and louis vuitton bags (gag) to ease the daddy guilt that the 21st century sensitive man apparently gains by paying attention to their partner during pregnancy. im not going to say that pregnancy is a cake walk. sure i have looked a bit grumpilly at my physically-unaffected husband at times, but the more overwhelming feeling that i have, as a now 8 months pregoplump chick (jesus, how can that be already?) is that i am damned charmed that i have the choice to be pregnant if i want - and im enjoying it! men, and lots of women, dont have that choice. sure, ive had a really lucky healthy pregnancy. which isnt the case for all. but not everyone struggles either. when i feel the baby move, the supposedly guilt ridden partner in this process can only imagine what that is like. meanwhile i fully enjoy taking my baby on walks, and napping together in the afternoon, and feeling amazing (albeit with heartburn, squished lungs, and etc etc). the non-birthing partner can provide all kinds of support, endless kinds of support, that do not include diamond earrings. that's not to say that real heart-felt gifts are bad, but this type of expected/demanded (expensive) quid pro quo for labor, as the times article describes, borders on gross.

real partnership is something so significantly more than push-presents imply. i have, on more than one occasion, felt great comfort in knowing that i have that kind of support and cannot fathom going through pregnancy and birth alone (physically or emotionally). it can be scary. really scary. even for a strong independent women. the kind of partner support that helps one through both the fear and the heartburn is what women have really lacked for much of history. the picture of the world that the times article describes doesnt sound like progress to me.

misconceiving "natural"

there is a great deal of talk about periods these days. why women have them, how women feel about them, how men feel about them, how we should feel about them, whether we need them, whether we need drugs to emancipate ourselves from them - it all seems to dwindle down to some basic question about what, precisely, women are. as if we can be defined by this part of us, this reproductive menstruating part of us.
of course, women have been defined by their reproductive systems for, well, most of forever. but its striking to have this conversation thrust out in the wide sunny open, so explicit, in this oh-so-modern age where it is imagined that women are just human and not menstruating others defined by lunar cycles and secrets held so mysteriously from men. but this conversation of menstruation and cycles and the root of womenhood (what is it?) dredges up an ancient musty and pagan-feeling definition of woman that reminds me of witches and covens and covenants and blood.
and there is something appealing about this secret privately held womanness. this part of being she that the hes cannot know. and it seems that women, many women, resist letting go of this part of our lives and so they continue to, or begin for the first time to, define us by this bleeding.
but womanhood is not about the bleeding in lunar repetitious ways, as darkly romantic as it may sound. and womanhood is definitely not expressed by regulating our prescription hormones so that we manipulate our biology so that we bleed in order to feel like women.
if you have a special love for your monthly menses, that is fine. its been a part of most of us for a large chunk of our lives and in that way we cannot help but let it become a part of us that may seem strange to depart with. but the outcry of "unnatural!" "unwomanly" "pharmocologically manipulative!!!" is confused. certainly, it is pharmocologically manipulative. but the pill - the glorious pill that gave women a freedom that i do not think, i certainly hope that, we would not like to take back - is equally as manipulative. in fact, moreso as it plays with the drug in such a way that woman have thought they were bleeding for a natural reason all these years. no, your contraceptive period has been there to make you feel better. to let you know you were not pregnant and to remind you that you are in fact a woman. the "new" pill is the same pill without the pretending. you do not ovulate, you do not shed the un-ovulated egg.
if women are to cry out about nature, they must cry out about the distancing from nature that orthocyclin has brought us.
instead, i celebrate contraception. women should celebrate contraception.
dont take lybrel if you dont want to, there is no reason you need to and there is no reason that anyone should have an opinion about whether or not their sisters choose to bleed or not. but we should know that it is a choice given us by the advancement of science and medicine, and we cannot shy away from that fact. though we may love nature, we should also love choice, and contraceptive choice is a powerful one for the history of women. we shouldnt hide behind "nature" and mythology of what it means to be a woman. we are not defined by the shedding of ovaries.
not all women even have them to shed.

international women's day

Happy International Women's Day!

Ill take the moment to turn our attention to Iran, where five women are charged with “acting against national security by participating in an illegal gathering” in order to peacefully protest laws that discriminate against women. Its important to keep the international struggle for women's equality in the forefront of our mind. Sexism, like most isms i suppose, varies from the subtle and insidious to the physical tangible and blatently criminal. In the US we are faced more commonly with the insidious and subtle, and I am afraid that young women growing up today are not always aware of the seriousness of the still-existing inequality women face, not only her at home but across the globe. Iran's actions violate both international law and, apparently, the Iranian constitution. But laws are never the full measure of justice. The women who have benefited from a previous generation's struggle must recognize that the struggle continues, and support it as they are able. One step in that direction is awareness, and one place to keep up on international news related to women and women's equality can be found here.

On a more positive note, today should also be about celebrating how far we have come! Leaps and Bounds and more leaps to come!